May/June 2005

Come to Order Sometime

“Postponement” is the key word in the Procrastinator’s Club motto

by Larry Maddry

The Procrastinator’s Club held its February meeting last week at Harold Humboldt’s house in Portsmouth. The meeting was to have been in February but for one reason or another we put it off.

The PC meetings are usually thoroughly pleasant but not always. Now and then the habit which unties us also leads to divisions.

Take Harold Humboldt, for instance. Harold has known for months that the meeting was to have been at his house and with the postponements had ample time to prepare appropriate refreshments—the host’s primary responsibility.

It was one of those warm June days with temperatures in the high seventies, and Harold served the membership—settled into sofas and chairs—with steaming mugs of hot cocoa.

I think Wendell Briggs spoke for all of us when he rose from his chair, brow furrowed in agitation, complaining that, given the season, perhaps tea and lemon cookies might have been more appropriate.

“Good grief, Harold, I hope next time you’ll get a grip on the season,” Wendell muttered behind clenched teeth.

Harold did a little foot-shuffling apology, explaining that he had stocked up on the cocoa for the February meeting and had meant to change the refreshments but never got around to it.

Our club’s motto is: “Always put off until tomorrow what you can do today—unless there’s a possibility of indefinite postponement.”

It is believed by the membership that “postponement” is the key word in the motto. It is a fine word with the smack of authority and purpose, yet it falls very delicately on the ear, like a blossom loosened from its branch.

Our club president is Studley Pitts, an affable fellow who is a building contractor. He is admired by the membership as a civic leader with a reputation for never completing a house or building on time. We believe he’s a procrastinator of the first chop and a straight thinker.

“The work our company does is of such high quality it’s downright insulting to put a timeline on it,” Studley explained at one of our meetings. At the next meeting he was unanimously elected as president. We could all see he had the right stuff.

Studley knows how to conduct a meeting, too. “Do I hear a motion that we delay consideration of our annual budget until November?” he’d ask. Often he simply declared that as club president he was going to “forgo discussion” of one item or another “in the interest of expediency.”

When Stewart Potter asked when we would be electing a new secretary to replace the one who had died, Studley folded his arms and replied that a decision on that would be made “in due course.”

Studley is a man who knows how to get things done. We were outta there in 15 minutes.

Despite the unseasonable refreshments I thoroughly enjoyed the meeting. I think all the procrastinators did.

But I was especially impressed with the fine job Studley is doing as our president.

I think I’ll sit down and right him a letter. If not tomorrow...at some time in the future.